Friday, 18 November 2011

Scary Monsters Super Creeps

I'm sitting at a city centre rank, it's about 8:30 in the evening.
Two beefy looking skinhead types get in, turns out they're Poles and don't have very good English.
I take off and just round the corner it occurs to me that I've just seen them get out of another taxi before they got into mine.
"House...north of town" one of them says, so I head off up the main road that leads out of the city.
"Not far" says skin number two.
They seem to be looking for the address almost immediately and we stop-start all the way up the road until we are heading for the edge of town.
They're either taking the piss or there is confusion caused by the language barrier and alcohol consumption (theirs not mine).
Then I'm struck with a sudden paranoid fear.
These guys are trying to get me out into the country to rob me of my hard earned.
I look in the mirror and I see two of the most evil looking tossers grinning maniacally back at me.
The last housing estate in town appears on my left so I take the access road and stop in a well lit street.
"That's it guys end of the line"
They mutter in Polish and I'm sure one of them gobs in the back.
The meter says seven quid but the first guy puts a fiver in the wee tray.
By this time I'm getting seriously pissed off at these clowns so I tell them it's a tenner.
"Only seven pound" says Lech Walesa banging the Perspex safety screen.
"Nah you're out of town so there's an extra" I chance.
They mutter away and I quietly lock all the doors, I'm driving a TX2 tonight and there's no escape should they try a runner. One of the other drivers dealt with a troublesome passenger in one of these cars by locking him in, burning up and down the street doing sixty, breaking violently and knocking the boy senseless off the inside of the cab.
I'm crapping myself but in this game when someone tries to do you out of a penny it's conflict time.
I stand my ground
"It's a tenner and I can sit here all night "
I'm bluffing of course, but it's a Mexican (or Polish) stand off now.
Suddenly the whole atmosphere changes when they weigh up the situation.
They're locked in the back of a taxi on the outskirts of a foreign town.
Any hassle and I can call the police or a couple of other drivers, the latter being the least desired option for them as a some of my colleagues actively seek out this kind of confrontation and would be suitably tooled up .
They might even be illegal so they don't want any attention.
The fiver is promptly exchanged for a tenner and I allow them to escape into the night.
I almost felt sorry for them, until a couple of months ago when the town was invaded by an army of identikit Polish football hooligans who wrecked a few pubs, beat up some innocent bystanders and generally created mayhem.
Tonight's lesson?
A thug's a thug in any language and I think this was a narrow escape.
Had I been driving an ordinary saloon car they would have jumped me no problem.

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