One of my worst passengers surprisingly (or not)

Was a traffic cop.

Gets in with his missus and elderly mum and dad.

They've been at the old couples anniversary bash.

Pretty soon the swearing starts.

This is what some people do when they want to show you how "street" they are.

His old dear tells him to quiet down but he ignores her and demands that I put the foot down.

"You trying to get me done" I say.

"Dinna worry pal ehm a traffic cop eh'll get ye aff"

I snort with derision as I've heard that one before.

"No he is" says his missus, almost aplogetically.

The rest of the journey is listening to this guy effing and blinding all the way home berating anything he can think of, my car, my driving his wife, workmates and the world in general.

This is one bitter dude.

When we get to his place he climbs a fence and urinates in his neighbour's garden.

I've got some mates who are proper coppers as it were and they hold the traffic guys in complete contempt.

Never there when things get nasty, never back you up in a scrap, that kind of thing.

Now I can see why.

Been stopped by them once or twice and they always try the good cop, bad cop routine, like they're in some crap old movie.

Stick to chasing boy racers chaps.